Fired Up

Word Count:525

Renard, Fallon

Filmmaking

“Eye” of the Universe

Norms: Individual Vs. Society-Fired Up

Fallon Renard, 17

What’s Wrong With Me?

The norms of an American high school teen is enjoying life, parting, being out past curfew, and sharing good memories with a group of friends. How come I do not fit this norm? What’s wrong with me? My high school life, I would not call the easiest. When everyone thinks of their high school memories they think of football games, basketball games, going to parties, school dances, and prom. Well, when I think of high school, I remember the unstable relationships I had, traveling from one group of friends to another, wishing it was summer already so I can go to camp, coming home late, staying up till two in the morning, and stressing myself out way too much rarely having fun.

Let’s rewind to second semester freshman year. My best friend Rachel Scott stopped being my friends and I just felt lost in school. Her and girl that replaced me were in my sixth period ASL1. I would watch them sign across the room to each other, and I had nobody to sign to. Right after the bell rang I would run to get out of school, like I was in cross country racing for the gold.

Later that year I found a group of friends who I liked to spend time with and was happy for a while. It was now the mid of sophomore year, and I thought I was starting to see reoccurring things, like my friends not waiting for me at lunch, me having to run to catch up with them. For one whole week I ate lunch in the ASL room, because I couldn’t find them. I was feeling all depressed again, and I knew I deserved better. So I started to hang out with my friend Chloe and her dance team friends. They were cool, and we ate lunch on the side of the lockers with some communication. We went to City Walk for my friend’s birthday and I felt like I was a part of something again.

Junior year we had two new girls to our group, two foreign exchange students. One was from Brazil and the other was from Italy, they were so cute and I loved spending time with them. Everyone would leave or not come to the spot, and it was just I and my new foreign exchange students and I. I got really close with them, and then realized they would be leaving in a couple months, because they were only there for one semester. I was freaking out! I thought to myself where will I be next year.

Senior year after coming back from being at camp for eight weeks, I expected my friends to have at least missed me a little. The first day at school I felt invisible and not welcomed, and they had a new friend that I felt had some how replaced me. I felt sick to my stomach. So I talk to them now, but I now hang out with my Jewish youth group friends that are mostly younger than me. I’m so ready to go to college and make new friends, and get a fresh start.